Miscommunication between genders is a common problem as messages are unclear or misunderstood. Gender communication is multifaceted and complex with biological, social, and emotional factors contributing to miscommunication between genders. It is crucial for successful effective communication that one understands the many aspects of how males and females communicate. This article will focus on where gender specific communication differences begin, childhood.
Gender Communication Differences Begin
Gender specific communication differences begin during childhood. From a very early age, males and females are taught and use different communication styles and behaviors. Males and females that grow up in the same area or neighborhood use different words and communication styles. People communicate with each gender differently and expect children to accept that particular way of communicating as the norm.
Communication styles and behaviors that are acceptable for young females may not be acceptable for young males and vice versa. For example, if a girl scrapes her elbow and starts to cry, she is nurtured. She’s given hugs, kisses, and can show emotion. However if a boy gets the same minor injury, he is told to be tough and quit crying. He is not supposed to show emotion and is told to “be a man.”
Childhood Activities Develop Gender Specific Communication Styles
Childhood activities and same gender group playtime is where gender specific communication styles begin to develop and evolve. Gender specific communication differences can be seen in males and females as young as 3 or 4 years old. Most children spend the bigger part of the day playing with others. Boys and girls usually play and participate in same gender groups. These same gender groups foster and advance specific and different communication styles and behaviors.
Female-Playtime Develops Relational and Intimate Communication Style
Young females are taught to be ladylike, use manners, and play quietly. Adults may spend more time and thought when dressing them. Items like dresses, tights, hair bows, curling irons, and perfumes are used to outfit females to make them pretty and proper. Females play with dolls, include all girls as equals, and work together during activities like Double Dutch jump rope. These types of interactions help females develop a relational and intimate communication style.
Male-Playtime Develops Competitive and Independent Communication Style
Young males are often rambunctious. They use rough language and play loudly. Good examples of what people say about boys playing are the phrases, “he’s just being a boy” and “boys will be boys.” Adults use phrases like those to justify male behaviors. Most adults do not try to make boys pretty and proper like girls. Young males get sweaty and dirty when playing. They do not care about nice-looking clothes or smelling good.
Males participate in sports, wrestle, and play cops and robbers. Male groups are competitive and try to one up each other. They establish a group hierarchy, giving each member a specific function, unlike females who want all group members to be equal and build intimacy. Males play team games that have clear winners and losers. These types of interactions help males develop a competitive and independent communication style.
References:
Coleman, Candice M. (2002). Mission Possible: Communication between Genders. St. Louis, MO: Say It Well Inc.
Tannen, Deborah. (1990). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Harper
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Amanda-Makenzie Braedyn - Amanda-Makenzie Braedyn has been working in the communications field for 10 years. Amanda-Makenzie holds a Bachelor of Science in ...
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